Friday, April 13, 2012

FLASH FICTION RUNNING

Photo Prompt for 100-word Flash #FridayFictioneers

Running

I found the tunnel while running one hot afternoon, the dark passageway a cool respite from the beating Texas sun. At least that’s what I thought when I first spotted the picturesque benches flanking the opening. The trail leading under the roadway looked innocent enough, so with a slowing pace I entered, my footfalls echoing off the walls of the cave like interior. As I left the harsh sunlight for the soothing darkness of the tunnel, the rhythm of my cadence lulled me into a feeling of contentment. All sense of time left me in the dark confines of the shadows. I strained looking for the proverbial light at the end, nothing not even a glimmer. I quickened my pace as unease crept in replacing my calm making me edgy and anxious for the sunlight. I fought the panic rising in my throat as my legs trembled with exhaustion. Still the dark tunnel continued. 

Friday Fictioneers

For information on who and what the Friday Fictioneers are, click here!
I hope you liked my Flash Fiction.

17 comments:

  1. Wow, I enjoyed this.
    A great build up to scary ending -or is it just the beginning?

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    1. Thanks for the wow. Hmm you gave me something to think about.

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  2. Great story, very mysterious, I liked how you took the reader through the character's change of emotion. Here's my friday fiction for this week: http://sphrbn.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/nothingness/

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    1. Thanks so much, glad you caught that.

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  3. I'm a sucker for endings. Loved yours. It's frustrating and haunting.

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  4. Well Crafted Jean.
    I love the challenges... although I have not played at this Friday Fictioners... I like to play at CreativeCopyChallenge.com myself. But what ever gets the creative juices going is a good thing!

    Keep up the good work... because this shows you are more than Just and "Aspiring Writer".

    Kathleen Kline from Linkedin

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    1. Kathleen, Thanks so much for the high praise.

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  5. Dear Jean,

    Good story that led nowhere (No pun intended:). The buildup of dread and suspense was good. Normalcy to continuing down a path into nameless darkness. Very human and kind of nuts. I have one suggestion for future consideration and apologize in advance for being so bold as to mention it..... If your MC had turned around only to find the light at the beginning of the tunnel vanished as well...that would have sealed the deal and sent your readers into adrenaline overdose.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/bermuda-triangle-summer/

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    1. WOW, thanks Doug. More room to right and could have went that way. LOL

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  6. I love the change in tone from the opening to the end and also that the story didn't end. The tunnel is almost like a metaphor for life!

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    1. Thanks so much! Yeah sometimes I've wanted to step off my treadmill.

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  7. Hi Jean,
    I enjoyed your flash fiction short. It is exciting. I wonder what is at the end of the tunnel.
    Ciao,
    Patricia

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  8. I don't think I'd like tunnels without end! Your story was great. It set up suspense and then prolonged the dread and didn't turn us loose. Thanks for joining the Friday Fictioneers!

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    1. Thanks so much, not sure I posted correctly on your site last week. I'll try again and see you Fri.

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  9. I have dreams like this...I wonder when she will try to turn around and go back out, only to discover that there is no escape.

    ~Susan

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