Friday, April 27, 2012

The Bargain-Fiction challenge-Red Riding Hood Link-Up

Red Writing Hood Link-Up: Core
Here is my contribution:
The Bargain
She closed the door. Her heart ached for the love she no longer felt. As of now, her life’s changed, unable to trust anyone after today, even herself. Her belief system shattered, everything she’d held dear evaporated as if in a show of smoke and mirrors. He should’ve been a headliner in Vegas; he’d a made a great magician. Didn’t matter now, nothing mattered anymore. She waited for the empty center of her being to fill up with pain, remorse, or anger, anything to replace the shattered place where her soul used to exist. His glassy eyes stared up at her, no longer smiling and no longer lying.

“Nothing left to say, is there?” She stood over the bed; her voice sounded as dead as she felt.

“Seems in killing you, I killed a little of myself. Didn’t bargain on that.” 



8 comments:

  1. Nice. Makes me wonder just what all happened here, who "he" was to her, and why did she kill him.

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    1. Thanks apparently he was too much to her. LOL What would it take to make a person do such a thing?

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  2. I think it's interesting that she almost seems confused at her own reaction. I think it shows that whatever she expected to accomplish isn't going to work out in the way she anticipated.

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    1. Thanks for getting the reaction I was going for.

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  3. Ooh, Sis! Seems I'm not the only one in the family with a murderous mind slant! Good job!

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  4. Nice twist. The clarity at the end though didn't fit the fragmented feeling at the beginning. Almost like too much resolution in one split second. Does that make sense? Anyway, I love the image of the shattered place where the soul once was. Very vivid.

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