Monday, April 23, 2012

Flash Fiction Wake up Sleepy Head 100 Word Challenge

Julia's Place 
100 Word Challenge for Grown UpsWeek #39

Flash Fiction 100 Word Challenge Here is my contribution: 

Wake up Sleepy Head


He leaned over and kissed her swollen lips; she smiled, turned her head, closed her eyes, and snuggled down into the pillow.


“I’m exhausted. Shut the door behind you.”

Her husky voice barely a whisper beneath all the covers she'd pulled over her eyes. He chuckled at the sight of golden curls peeking out above blankets and pink toes exposed at the bottom. Squeals erupted when with a flick of his wrist he uncovered his prey.

“No sleep for the wicked and no rest for the weary, I want breakfast.”

She opened her arms and laughed aloud.

“Here, or the kitchen?” 


32 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Thanks Gilly, I had fun with this one.

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  2. Just popping over from 100 word challenge - very funny - loved the punchline.

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    1. LOL sometimes my characters surprise me. Thanks for popping over.

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    2. Aren't those kind of surprises just the best ever! Keeps writing fun. Dropping by from the 100 word challenge which I just discovered. I haven't done this one yet, but planned on jumping into the pool soon. Nice to discover your work.

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    3. Yes, thanks for stopping by. The more the merrier, look forward to reading your contributions.

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  3. This is quite a saucy piece. Does it pass the PG certificate I wonder ? Umm - just. Many, many thanks for joining us in our weekly silliness!

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    1. Thanks, PG well that would be in the eye of the reader's mind. I love that everyone's imagination can go in different directions.

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  4. Replies
    1. Who? Not me! Now what on earth are you thinking?

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  5. great images...and perfect emotion! Lovely...!

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    1. Thank you lorrainefort, glad you enjoyed the piece

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  6. Just the right combination of sweet and spicy. Love it!

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    1. Thanks! More for the imagination is always best. IMO

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  7. A nice attempt marred by "surprise" ending and numerous stylistic errors. You could make it publishable still.

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    1. Thanks Mark for the critique. Ouch. However, next time maybe I'll slow down and not be in such a hurry.

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    2. Made some improvements. I hope. Thanks for the help. Always willing to accept help.

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  8. JeanElaine,

    You had so many positive comments. I am just one voice in the wilderness.

    Replace the comma with the period:
    “No sleep for the wicked and no rest for the weary, I want breakfast.”

    And who said that?

    Why the first line is in italics?

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  9. Like it! I'm telling you, we're writing the wrong genre in our novels!

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  10. Slightly jealous of her! Lovely piece.

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  11. Love this! I was taken straight there with the magical first line, great description and fun ending :D

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    1. Thank you for the lovely compliment.

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  12. Saucy! but great imagery. Nicely done.

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    1. Thanks Sandra, been working on the show part of my writing.

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  13. A cheeky story and a great read.
    Well told in just 100 words.

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  14. Good fun! Reminds me of another nice line, at an earlier time - "shall I call you for breakfast or just tap you on the shoulder..."

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    1. Ooh, sounds like a good read! Glad you liked my piece.

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